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Falling Out In A Relationship and What To Do To Save It?

Do you feel like you are falling out in your relationship?


In every relationship, there will inevitably be moments when you find yourself in the midst of an argument over something seemingly small and irrelevant, yet it creates a significant gap between you and your partner. These minor disagreements can sometimes feel overwhelming, causing a sense of distance and disconnection. Additionally, there will be times when you feel a bit distant from your partner, as if you are not growing together as partners or as individuals. This lack of growth and connection can gradually lead to a widening gap between you two.


For couples especially those who have been together for a very long time are likely to really feel this gap or sour in their relationship. This is very normal though but in order to work things out. Both couple should do their part.




To navigate these challenges and maintain a healthy relationship, it's essential to focus on a few key principles:


  1. Effective Communication: Open, honest, and respectful communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Make it a priority to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, and actively listen to their perspective as well. This helps in understanding each other better and resolving conflicts more effectively.

  2. Quality Time: Spending quality time together is crucial for maintaining a strong bond. Whether it's going on regular date nights, engaging in shared hobbies, or simply enjoying quiet moments together, these activities help to reinforce your connection and create lasting memories.

  3. Mutual Respect and Support: Respecting each other’s individuality and supporting one another’s goals and dreams is vital. Encourage each other to pursue personal interests and growth, while also working together towards common objectives as a couple.

  4. Flexibility and Compromise: Every relationship requires a degree of flexibility and willingness to compromise. It's important to find a balance between your needs and your partner's needs, and to be willing to make adjustments when necessary to maintain harmony.

  5. Conflict Resolution: When disagreements arise, focus on resolving them in a constructive manner. Avoid blame and criticism, and instead, approach conflicts with a mindset of finding a solution that works for both of you. Remember that it’s not about winning an argument, but about strengthening your relationship.

  6. Emotional Intimacy: Building and maintaining emotional intimacy is key to a healthy relationship. Share your vulnerabilities, express your love and appreciation regularly, and make an effort to understand and empathize with your partner's emotions.

  7. Professional Support: Sometimes, seeking the help of a professional counsellor can be beneficial. A counsellor can provide guidance and tools to navigate complex issues, improve communication, and foster a deeper connection.

By incorporating these principles into your relationship, you can create a strong, healthy, and fulfilling partnership that can withstand the inevitable ups and downs. Remember, relationships require ongoing effort and dedication from both partners, but the rewards of a loving and supportive relationship are well worth it. I Jennifer Surch, A professional counsellor helps couples who are dealing with problem.



In couples counselling, most of the time it's set or pre-booked by the two concern parties. They seek help from professionals like me, Jen Surch to guide them with this difficult journey. I tend to know my client first, If one partner has a mental health concern, it will typically be addressed only in terms of how it affects the relationship. An example of which is one may be suffering from trauma that needed to be address before preceding to the therapy hence it will make the therapy more effective. —but the counselor won’t use the session to dive into the PTSD’s root causes.

If you’re struggling with a mental health condition that’s affecting your relationship, it may be best to seek individual therapy instead of—or in addition to—couples therapy.


When couples are falling apart, couples therapy can be a valuable resource. Here are some key points to consider:

  1. Lack of Trust:

  1. Techniques Used in Couples Therapy:

  • Couples therapists draw from various modalities, including:

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy: Focuses on emotional bonds and attachment.

  • The Gottman Method: Emphasizes communication, conflict resolution, and building friendship.

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Couples: Addresses negative thought patterns and behaviors.

  • Imago Relationship Therapy: Aims to heal past wounds and improve communication2.

  1. Unique Challenges for Couples Living Apart:

Remember, seeking professional help can make a significant difference in repairing and strengthening relationships. I Jennifer Surch is very much willing to help anyone who needs my guidance and advise professionally. I have extensive experience in counselling and helping individuals or couples who are dealing with problems. Couples Therapy is just one the services I can offer my professional help with.

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